I (M27) feel my girlfriend (F25) is spending too much time with our roommate (M157 deceased)

Relationship Advice

I want to open by making it clear I'm not the “jealous type” if you know what I mean. My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years. We both have friends of the opposite sex that we spend time alone with and we both have exes that we are friendly with and who are still in our circle of friends. I would never get jealous about that kind of stuff and, honestly, think that's what's healthy. But ever since we moved in together into a haunted Victorian manor, she has been spending all her time with Horace, the ghost of a colonial era law clerk who was murdered in our guest room in 1889.

To be clear, we didn't know it was haunted when we moved in. We just knew it was historical, part of a conservation district which was a real perk for us. We even paid the full asking price just to make sure we weren't outbid. Once she had seen the solarium and I had seen the antique dumb-waiter, we told both our realtor and the wizened groundskeeper ranting about a curse that we simply had to have it.

But after we moved in my girlfriend became cold. Not with me, just when she was standing in certain spots in otherwise warm rooms. She was moody though. She kept blaming me for making messes, scattering books around, stacking chairs, getting bloodstains on the wallpaper. I wasn't even home when those happened. It's like she doesn't trust me anymore. Just when the tension between us was coming to a head, we meet Horace.

He was standing motionless at the end of our bed in the middle of the night, lit only by a pale glow that shone from within. The light woke me up. Rude, right? He was just pointing at us, mouth open in a silent scream. My girlfriend was staring at him, but when I got out of bed to kindly escort him out, he vanished. My girlfriend was mad at me! “Why'd you have to scare him away?!” she said. She looks at me like I'm the asshole. I'm sorry, I don't like strange men appearing in my bedroom and pointing at me in the middle of the night. I don't think that's unreasonable.

After that, suddenly she's obsessed with this guy. She's buying all this expensive equipment to impress him like a thermal camera, an microphone, PK and EMF meters. All together it put us back like a grand. We were supposed to be saving money. We'd just bought a house and we promised we'd discuss major purchases. But she doesn't talk to me at all anymore. She spends all her time listening Horace's static filled podcast. Sorry, not a podcast: “Electronic voice phenomenon.” I don't see what the difference is. It's just him talking for hours about his life, murder, and afterlife. I'm pretty sure I even heard an ad for Squarespace once, but she told me I was being ridiculous.

But how am I supposed to feel. He's all she talks about now. She just keeps going on about how he was killed by a cabal of powerful politicians and business men called the Family Compact after he tried to expose their corruption and since their descendants still hold power over the city today, his soul can't rest. My girlfriend thinks he's noble, but so what? I donate to charity. It's basically the same thing. Plus, Horace is from the 1800's, so he's probably a racist. Not so noble then after all.

Maybe I'm just feeling under-appreciated. Maybe nothing is going on between them, but they are spending a lot of time together working on settling his unfinished business. Well don't we have unfinished business of our own? We still haven't finished that Ted Bundy Docuseries we were watching together. I want to find out how it ends! The other day, I overheard her on the phone talking to a priest. I worried they might be about to elope.

Am I over reacting or do you think something is really going on between them?

-Haunted But Undaunted in Toronto