Ep 1
Let's Party

In the city of Tudot, in the province of Tarro, in the Empire, a by-law is passed. City Ordinance 8675309 bans all unlicensed adventuring. Though many more experienced adventures fight this, the newer and weaker adventurers are rounded up and assigned to new parties by Adventurer Re-Assignment Advisors.

We find our party being assigned together by Leslie in a bureaucratic office. We meet Agata Stokys, a surly cleric who would rather not heal anyone. Balgor, a barbarians that with no prompting admits he accidentally killed his whole clan. Mawldar Sly, a tiefling warlock that constantly spouts conspiracy theories. Finnick Fleetfoot, a halfling rogue who refuses to reveal his past. Having been assessed they are given their first quest for the good of the city. Kony Wetbottom's Magical Emporium has dirty windows and the neighbouring businesses are complaining. The Party is to go clean them. When they ask what will happen if they refuse to do such a menial task, they are told they would be killed and tossed in a pit with the other rebelling adventures.

So the party arrives at Kony's. The Kony that greets them is an annoying gnome that creates a gaudy light show and tries to sell them magic trinkets. He is eventually revealed to just be a front for the real Kony, a powerful elf wizard. In fact, the windows aren't even really dirty, it is just another part of this illusory front. Kony explains that the city is evil, and he is trying to stop them. Their is a magical artifact called The Kidney in the sewers that is cleaning the water but also adding a mind control poison to the water supply. The party asks if they go and get this artifact would Kony change the illusion so the windows look clean. He agrees and they head off to find a way into the sewers


Ep 2
To The Sewers!

The party tries to figure out how you actually get into the sewer until they realize they are being watched. The cloaked figure tries to run away and a chase ensues. Eventually, Mawldar casts a spell that incapacitates the spy with laughter and they catch him into the middle of a market. While the shoppers look on in shock that they are jumping the figure which turns out to be a small defenceless goblin. The party claims to be undercover guards and tells everyone to carry-on as they pull the goblin into a dark alley to talk. The goblin admits he over heard them talking about The Kidney, which people aren't supposed to know about. Agata threatens him into bringing them to an entrance to the sewer. He brings them to a secret entrance in a nondescript building on a nondescript street. He lets them into the sewer but locks the door behind them.

Finnick immediately falls into raw sewage and catches a disease. Agata walks on the dry path and Mawldar rides on the hardy and healthy Balgors shoulders to get through the sewer. When Balgor loudly starts singing, they hear voices speaking in the Dragonic language ahead of them. Agata immediately fires a magical Guiding Bolt at whatever comes around the corner ahead.

The first of a small group of kobold maintenance workers explodes from her attack. The rest attack to avenge their murdered friend, but they are no match for four adventurers. The party kills all of them. They then pause for a second to wonder if that violence was really necessary.


Ep 3
Cornelius Joins

Having defeated the kobolds, Mawldar disposes of the bodies by sliding them into the river of sewage. Balgor, keeps one of the skulls and begins working its mouth like a puppet. At first it seems like a morbid joke, but quickly it starts to seem like Balgor actually thinks the kobold skull, named Cornelius, is alive, despite clearly voicing it himself. He even calls for a vote for party leader and elects Cornelius.

The party continues forward and finds the sewage treatment plant. They explore the facility for The Kidney. While searching, they are ambushed by a second group of kobolds, this one with name tags matching those of the last group except with an added "Jr." after each name. The party dispatches the second generation of kobold city workers and finds their prize chained into the city's water flow. As they approach, they find it guarded by an animated suit of armour. The managed to destroy it, but Agata is knocked out. Finnick fumbles his way through resuscitating her while Mawldar and Balgor manage to remove the Kidney. It briefly tries to enthrall Balgor, but they put it into a special cooler Kony had given them and he seems to shake it off.


They take a short nap to sooth their wounds and when they awake, Balgor is gone. He had left a note in Cornelius's skull saying that he was feeling grief over what he had done to Cornelius and was going to go out and search for his family to try to make amends. The party returns to Kony's where they find him arguing with a gnome. The gnome is a paladin who is looking for the evil woman who killed his family, but he can't seem to remember any more details about the woman, or much at all. The party, realizing they just lost their front-line fighter with Balgor's disappearance, agree to help him find this evil woman if he joins their party. They give Kony The Kidney and he rewards them with four magic items. There are Slippers of Spider-climbing for Finnick, A magic sword for Agata, a love potion for Mawldar, and Fook takes the Bag of Holding meant for Balgor. He explains that he needs a bag of holding to store his poop in. Everyone asks him not to, but he claims it is his bag to do what he wants with. Kony says he can again pay them with more magic items if they'll retrieve another item for him. The group, not really wanting to be window washers anyway agree but ask him to alter the illusion of his business so it at least looks like they did their job. Kony says they can find more info on the next item, The Eyes, by visiting his friend at a bar named The Pennant Race.

The Party heads to the bar and meets and number of patrons and the bar owner, Jom Hortense, a former professional jouster. Jom tells them that if they want to find The Eyes, they'll want to get info from members of this gang/cult called The Lazy All-Seeing Eye, who have been trying to shake him down for protection money. When the bandit shows, the party jumps him and manages to subdue him.

Ep 4
Cheers!


They drag the bandit to Jom's backroom and begin to interrogate him. Mawldar tries to divide up the different roles of the interrogation. Fook volunteers to seduce. Finnick tries to play the wildcard, stabbing himself in the hand for some reason. Mawldar tries to be scary, but fails so badly he starts to cry. The crying makes the bandit so uncomfortable he accidentally tells them about a warehouse. The bandit then swallows a hidden suicide pill and dies. The party heads to the warehouse district.

They manage to find the warehouse which is guarded by a password, a magic light show puzzle, and an animated rug all of which they manage to get past with only minor wounds. They discover a secret passage in the floor that leads to a underground tunnel.

Ep 5
Wildcarding


In the underground tunnel, the party meets Patton Najack, a guardian naga, a huge snake being wearing sequin vest and a white wig. Patton is guarding The Eye that the party is seeking and must determine if they are worthy. Having been alone down here for so long has made him a little crazy and he determines if they are worthy by making them play a game show similar to but legally distinct from The Price is Right. The party passes and Mawldar wins some prizes including an Immovable Rob. Patton takes a particular liking to Finnick and gifted him a Dagger of Ninja Vanish. Mawldar take pity on Patton's loneliness and gifts him Cornelius's skull.

When they get to the chamber, a number of members of the Lazy All-Seeing Eye Cult are waiting with The Eye. They too had earned their way through, but had not earned their way back out. The cultists want to make a deal.

Ep 6
Cost of Success


The All-Seeing Lazy Eye cultists explain that they are both a gang and a religious organization and plead they they are not the bad guys. They claim that the artifacts the party is collecting for Kony he's going to be used to make a giant death robot, but the cultists leader wasn't very convincing so a fight breaks out when Agata launches an attack spell at him. The party is triumphant and manage to retrieve The Eyes. On the way back out, Patton the naga explains that Kony is indeed building a giant death robot, but it's not necessarily for evil.

Ep 7
Something In My Eye


Having retrieved The Eyes, Mawldar proposes that they should hide The Eyes in his safety deposit box at the bank before returning to Kony so they have more negotiating leverage. It's late and the bank is closed until morning, so Mawldar offers the party to spend the night at his apartment. His home is a horrifying shamble of poverty and neglect, so Agata and Finnick decide to stay at a shady motel nearby instead where Finnick catches a disease off the sheets called The Itch. Mawldar and Fook have nightmares all night in the apartment, which Mawldar considers normal sleep.

At the bank, the employees tease him over his poverty until the nature of the item they wish to deposit is revealed. Suddenly, they are treated like VIP's. The branch manager says they would have to deposit it downtown at the main branch and orders a carriage to take them there. At the bank, they are walked into the main vault and the bank employee leaves them unattended for a long time and the party started to wander the enormous vault. The stumble across a sleeping two-headed giant that Fook awakens.

Ep 8
A Difficult Deposit


When the two-headed giant wakes up, he reveals his name is Steve and the second head is Dave and they are supposed to be a guard, though Steve is very mellow, he claims Dave is a jerk. So Mawldar casts Charm Person on Dave. It is revealed that the bank had set them up to be killed by the vault's security. They get Steve/Dave to lead them to Larmo, the bank employ who lead them into the trap and is waiting in the vault's panic room. Mawldar manages to slip Larmo his love potion, which makes him fall in love with Agata for the purpose of interrogating him. Larmo leads them to the giant's sister Shrokdor/Maddison hoping they can convince her to reveal the secret of the back exit to the vault. Shrokdor is being convinced, but then Finnick wakes up Maddison in an attempt to seduce her. Maddison, the more surly of the sisters attacks and a fight breaks out.

As the party is beginning to subdue Maddison, Shrokdor reveals she will only reveal the secret of the exit if they kill Maddison, giving her full control over their shared body. Mawldar saws Maddison's head off their body with his daggers as the rest of the party looks on in horror at the grotesque act. Shrokdor reveals how to find the exit and the party slips out of the vault into the sewer where they find a skull with a note in it's mouth waiting for them.

Ep 9
How To Charm Ettins and Influence Goblins


The skull with a note in it turns out to be Cornelius's skull with a wanted poster revealing the party is wanted dead or alive, except Agata, who must be taken alive. The back of the poster is a note from Patton Najack warning that despite the party being wanted, the government is keeping their hunt for them a secret which might be more suspicious.

The party decides to head through the sewers towards Kony's to get answers, but they run into a squad of the city's militia who had been sent to stop them. A battle breaks out and the party kills most of the soldiers, taking one prisoner. During the interrogation, Fook accidentally reveals where they are going. Mawldar slides the guard into the sewer water, hoping to slow him down in his pursuit of them. The guard starts drowning and despite Fook's efforts to save the guard, he dies.

The party exits the sewer. They stop by the apothecary to heal Finnick's itch where Fook is reminded by the staff there that as a paladin, he could have healed Finnick at any point. The party finally heads to Kony's.

Ep 10
Dirty Deeds


The real Kony isn't at Kony's, but getting drunk at the Pennant Race. Kony takes a swig of a potion that sobers himself-up. The party demands answers or they will not give him The Eyes. Kony cast the spell Weird on them. They each see their worst fear. Agata undergoes a claustrophobic nightmare. Fook feels himself riddled with age and disease. Finnick feels himself become paralyzed, unable to move. Mawldar sees everyone suddenly have up-do haircuts which Mawldar believes could hide colonies of spider-snakes (spiders with snakes for legs.)

Demoralized, Kony takes the party to his suite upstairs. Kony takes The Eyes and explains that his plan is to return the mages to power over the city. That his plan is the create the giant death robot to stop a worse beast that the city is planning to raise. The last rising was a thousand years ago and had destroyed the previous civilization. The beast was risen in the Scarred Burrows near Mawldar's apartment. A drawing in one of Kony's book of the last rising contains a figure that looks like Mawldar.

He also gives them some prizes for The Eyes. Mawldar get gets an Ever-Smoking Bottle. Fook gets a music box that if you sing to it can unlock doors. Agata gets some magic paints that can create actual objects. Finnick gets nothing cause he already got a dagger for Patton and Kony has some sort of issue about that. Kony then sends them to retrieve another artifact, The Heart.

Ep 11
Kony Gets Weird


The Party spends the night at the Pennant Race. Agata spends the night with Jom, causing Finnick to shed a single tear of loneliness. Alone in his room, Mawldar makes a report into his diary to his master. 

In the morning the party rushes off to catch the Spider Paths train to Tink Town to find The Heart for Kony. When they arrive at the train, they meet their drunken train conductor who warns them that there are still some giant spiders in the tunnels. After traveling for a while, the train hits an obstruction of web that stops the train. Mawldar telepathically reaches out to try to negotiate with the giant phase spider that have trapped the train. His negotiations don't go well. 

After a tough battle, the party takes out all the spiders but one. The last spider jumps Mawldar, knocking him out. 

Ep 12
We Trained For This


The last spider is defeated and Agata and Fook heal up the party. They break into the front of the train and heal the conductor. Mawldar burns the web blocking the train and they get moving just before a second wave of spiders show up.

They arrive at The Tink Tank, a part of town inhabited by tinkerers and inventors. A gnome ticket-taker explains the history of the area. Most of the gnomes were displaced from other gnomish lands and the city government neglects this part of town, cutting them off from important trade routes. The ticket-taker recommends they check-in with Robertica, a local automaton expert. As they explore, the party sees wonderful mechanized creations everywhere. A local warns them to watch out for the Pauper Wizards, who The Tink Tank is currently in a prank war with. When they meet Robertica, she imediately recognizes Fook.

Ep 13
Just Going Through A Phase Spider